Hiraeth
by blodwite
Summary: In which a demon is a bodyguard for a princess whose life falls apart.
1. In the Dead of Night

In the Dead of Night

Warm.

It's warm. The wind that rustled his hair into his face was cold, but she was warm against his back. She who had been staring at the world through cold, dead eyes for the last two days. The irony stretched Hak's lips into a thin, mirthless grin. As cold as she might feel on the inside, Yona was his only source of heat in the chilled air.

It was the only thing he was remotely grateful for in the given the circumstances. Two days they had been fleeing from Hiryuu Castle, for two days he'd been pulling this limp, hallowed form of a person along behind him. Forcing her to walk, forcing her to eat, carrying her when her feet began to bleed. There had been no time to rest, no time to pause in their fleeing least they were captured.

All in all, his charge had been nothing but a burden. It had been a fight with his instincts to not leave her behind, though realistically he would not have physically been able to leave her behind. An order wasn't something that he was able to disobey, and it was an order that had brought him to be her bodyguard. He had to get her to Fuuga, and he could not them allow them to get caught while on the way. Desperately he needed to hear Mundok's word on the matter, from there they would decide what to do.

Strangely Hak had not felt like they were being chased since that first night, since they had run from the castle with guards hot on their heels. Throughout the course of the day his motivation had changed from a push from behind to a pull toward their destination. While he could be wrong, Hak suspected that they were no longer being followed through the wilderness.

That did not mean that there was no need to be careless.

After all, Hak had "murdered" the king, and "kidnapped" the princess. He suspected that any villages and towns nearby would be crawling with guards, not to mention civilians, eager to claim the bounty that had to be on their heads.

However, it did mean that they rest at night from now on. Or at least, for tonight. He planned on being at Fuuga come the next nightfall.

"Princess..."

No response.

With a low grunt, Hak knelt on the ground before dropping Yona in an undignified heap. A small yelp escaped her lips as her butt connected with the hard ground, her thin body barely heavy enough to make much noise with the short fall.

Back on his feet, Hak was staring down at her. That was the most expression he'd seen on her face since the incident. As comical as it was, he knew it was inappropriate to laugh. Even a weary laugh full of bitterness was unwarranted.

"Forgive me princess, that was the gentlest way to put you down," Hak apologized, not that he expected a response from the emotionally dead girl. He took a step forward after a moment of silence, handing her what was left of the small bag of provisions he'd managed to steal the first day they'd been running. She'd made weak protests at the prospect of stealing, even from the moderately well off village he had selected to take from. That was why he hadn't pilfered the horses, and that was why they were still a day away from Fuuga.

Taking the small, leather bag from him, Yona held it for a moment before setting it in her lap, eyes staring blankly at her feet.

Hak tsked, shaking his head as he turned away from her. He'd gotten her to eat very little the day before, and he knew that she wouldn't eat anything tonight unless he forced her to. That was not something he was going to force upon her. Watching her like this disgusted him. She was a walking doll, the spark of humanity in her eyes was gone. Fled in fear or betrayal, Hak was yet to know. If she wanted to kill herself then who was he to stop her?

Unexpectedly, hot anger unfurled in his chest as he watched her look at the ground with dead eyes.

Damn Soo-won for making her this shell, this empty doll that he had to lug along with him. Damn the brat for stealing what light was in her eyes. Damn him for making his life this much harder, he was too old to play with dolls.

Sighing deeply, Hak removed his overcoat, laying the blue fabric on the ground after removing a few stray twigs. He flicked his gaze over to the princess, who, of course, hadn't moved. "We're going to rest here for the night, princess," Hak informed her, not really knowing why he even bothered to do so at this point. He didn't even know if she was listening, if she could hear him with whatever was going on in her head. Seeing as how she wasn't going to move on her own, Hak moved over to Yona and guided her by her shoulders to his coat, he coaxed her to lay down, wrapping her up in it as best as he could. The material wouldn't provide much in the way of warmth or protection, and he really hoped that it wouldn't rain.

He'd taken the provision's bag from her, opening it and pulled out a half of a broken hard biscuit. Chewing slowly he selected his own spot to settle for the night, finding the other half of the biscuit to consume before tying the drawstrings shut and placing the remaining few biscuits safely within a pocket. He would try to make Yona eat one tomorrow, if not he'd eat them all by midday. Hak didn't know if he'd be able to stop himself.

Leaning back against a tree, hsu quandao somewhat in his grasp, heavy tip supported also by the tree, Hak closed his eyes. Sleep was not really his intention, he needed to be on guard, but he could doze a little if he kept one eye and both ears open. Even he needed that much rest.

Forcing his eyes open at the first sound of birdsong, Hak slowly climbed to feet. The sky was dark, only slightly tinged a dark violet in the east. Birds were early risers, and while he didn't particularly want to be fumbling around the forest in the dark again, they had little time to spare. Only his head spun as he tried to stand on his own. Leaning heavily against the tree he'd slept against, Hak tired his damnedest to not drop his hsu quandao as he waited for his vision to stop spinning. Several minutes and dozens of quiet curses later Hak trusted himself to not fall flat on his ass without the aid of the tree. Swaying a little, he stumbled to Yona and nudged the girl awake gently, "princess... it's time to go." His voice was raspy with sleep and the want of water.

Her awakening was far slower than Hak's had been, but the thunder beast could sympathize, even if he was biting the inside of his cheek in irritation. Everything this girl did now was painstakingly slow. It took some willpower not to grab her by the waist and sling her over his shoulder. He doubted the girl would resist such actions anymore. What was he supposed to do it the princess allowed herself to be carried off in her sleep?

Shoving his thoughts aside, Hak collected his coat, shaking it off briefly before throwing his arms through the sleeves. Unfastening the waterskin from his belt, he passed it to Yona. It was half full now, and would be empty by midday unless they stumbled across a stream or pond. Hak knew the landscape in this area, between Hiryuu Castle and Fuuga, he knew where they were and how they were going. However, he wasn't sure if they could cross such a body of water or not. Only large rivers were mapped, and he'd not exactly trekked through the mountain pass like this. Normally one travelled on the roads, and stopped at towns and villages along the way. It could always rain as well, though that was not favorable even if it meant water. Taking the skin back from the princess, Hak took a swallow before tying it back on his belt. The water was lukewarm, but he was grateful for the moisture coating his dry throat. It wasn't enough, but he could hardly complain right now. Grabbing Yona's hand he pulled her along behind him, "come on princess, we'll get to Fuuga at nightfall if we hurry."

They'd been doing nothing but hurrying, in their own wearied, aching way.

If Hak's entire body ached, he could only imagine what Yona must feel like. The princess had never done anything more labour intensive than ride a horse a small number of times. It was the thought of whom she'd ridden with that had him ripping the thought from his mind before he could dwell on it.

Soon enough Yona would be on his back again.

Soon enough they'd be safely at Fuuga.

Hak only hoped that soon enough would actually be enough.


	2. The Hairpin's Value

The Hairpin's Value

Birdsong accompanied Hak as he filled their water skins at a clear spring they had stumbled upon. The birds were loud and obnoxious to his ears, making his head pound like he'd drank a great deal the day before. The ceaseless "babbling" of the spring wasn't helping matters much, nor was the heat of the sun on his hair.

Once their pouches were full of water Hak stood slowly, stretching his aching body in hopes to desensitize himself to the pain before actually walking. It didn't help much but only the first few steps were stiff before his usually effortless gait returned to him.

He'd left Yona in a clearing to rest while he replenished their supply of water for the day. It was noon and the sun was hot, the air sticky with moisture. The rest of their journey wouldn't take long, but it'd be even more miserable without fresh water.

Stepping through some underbrush that seemed to want to cling to him, Hak paused as he watched Yona kneeling, frantically look for something.

Moving plants around, and crawling forward on her knees to search further. Yona was quite the sight, dirt on her hands and her face, where she must have smeared it. Her expensive clothes were filthy and her long hair had trapped a few leaves and sticks.

From the panicked look on her face, she must have been searching for a while now.

Hak had never seen the princess like this before, despite all of his years spent as her bodyguard. He had never seen her filthy or covered in debris. He had never seen this kind of expression on her face.

Standing there, watching her with fascination and a slow spreading smirk, Hak wondered how long it had taken her to notice that it was missing.

He stepped forward heedless of the briars stuck in his clothes, forcing his face blank and free of emotion. "What are you looking for princess?" Hak asked as he stared down at her through slightly narrowed eyes.

The princess jerked her head up to look at him, like he had startled her. Face flushed pink, a few shades lighter than her vibrant hair. A sharp contrast to the dark shadows around her eyes. Hak wasn't entirely sure if she was flustered or if she was sun burnt.

"Uh- I uh- that is…" Yona stuttered, eyes wide and breath labored.

Hak sighed, taking pity on the pathetic young woman. That was the most she had spoken in these past two nights, the most life he'd seen in her since they'd fled the castle. He should reward her for such life like behavior.

"Is it this? Is this what you're looking for?" Hak pulled the hairpin from inside his overcoat, and held it out before Yona.

His dark eyes watched her as she slowly reached out to the hairpin, arm shaking as though the ornamental piece was a snake that she was expecting to bite her. Fatigue shook her whole body in small quivers, but as the tip of her fingers grazed the blue beads that dangled from the pin she jerked her hand back as if stung.

For a moment Yona stayed there, violet eyes big as she held them wide open.

Suddenly she surged forward, snatching the flower pin from Hak's hand and pressing it close to her chest.

For a moment Hak had thought that she was going to plunged the sharp pin into her heart, but he relaxed as he watched her legs curl up to her chest as she held the pin, her shoulders shaking with sobs as she finally allowed herself to cry.

Sighing loudly to disguise the snort he made at the scene before him, Hak settled himself close to her on the ground. Careful, so as not to startle her, he pressed a hand to her hair, stroking the strands as though she were an animal that needed soothing.

She stilled under him, probably not expecting comfort from someone such as him, but soon enough was huddled up against his chest. Sobbing for her father, for her cousin, for the love that she had just realized and just as quickly lost. He stroked her hair all the while, pale hand lost in her crimson hair, like snow in fresh blood. Hak was only glad that she didn't look up to see the smirk on his face.

It was dark by the time they arrived at Fuuga.

After Yona had ceased her sobs they had walked without stopping. Soon enough Yona had ended up on Hak's back, hsu quandao under her butt like a seat. It hurt a little to brace the heavy weapon like that, but there was no other way to carry both it and his princess. Leaving one of them behind was not an option unfortunately.

Currently they stood outside the main gates of Fuuga, on the road from the Hiryuu Castle. Surprisingly none of the sky tribe guards were here, they were either still looking for them, or they were going to deal with them another way. Hak had a few ideas as to what they would do. There would certainly be a bounty on his head, and a reward for the princess if found. Certainly, it would be said that Hak killed the king and kidnapped the princess. Only they wouldn't want the princess found and given back, they'd kill her and say that Hak had done the deed. It seemed that Soo-Won was determined to accomplish whatever it was that he had set out to do, no matter what it cost him.

Gently, Hak let Yona down, doing his best not to drop either her or his hsu quandao.

As Yona swayed a bit on her feet, Hak approached the gate keepers, a deep scowl set on his face.

The two young men who were guarding the gate were leaning up against the tall wooden fence that surrounded the capital of the wind tribe. The fair haired one's head was thrown back with mouth agape and the dark haired one's chin rested on his chest, but both were sound sleep.

Fist clenched, Hak brought it down on the dark haired gate keep's head. This woke him up and sent him to the ground simultaneously. Hak glared down at the young man sprawled at his feet as he scrambled to gather his dropped staff and climb to his feet at the same time.

The other guard had awoken at the noise and was now standing at attention with wide eyes. "L-lord Hak!" He stuttered, suddenly very alert for having just been asleep.

"You deadbeat, good for nothing wastes of space! What do you think you're doing? Sleeping at your posts! You're lucky I don't gut you right now." Hak scolded, brandishing his hsu quandao with the cloth still wrapped around the blade at the blonde one.

The guard that he had hit had finally climbed to his feet. "But Hak, we're the wind tribe, we have to be able to do what we want because we're as free as the wind." He crossed his arms and leaned back against the fence in a lounging posture, staff held loosely in his arms. Though his eyes remained locked on the taller man, body stiff as if prepared to move should he need to.

Hak looked down at the younger man for a moment, hard eyes narrowed slightly. "You should not have that kind of attitude, Tae-Woo. You'll be general soon."

Tae-Woo opened his mouth to retort, but they all froze at the soft thud from behind Hak.

Both gate keepers had rushed forward, but Hak had whirled around and gathered up the collapsed girl in his arms before they could get close enough to be able to help.

"Han-Dae, go prepare a room for her!" Hak orders as he strides quickly into the city, Tae-Woo hot on his heels and Han-Dae hurrying off ahead of them.

"Is she okay, Hak?" Tae-Woo asks as he follows after the older man. "You didn't hurt her, did you?"

"No, Tae-Woo, I didn't hurt her." Hak almost growls at the man trailing after him. "She is merely fatigued from the journey. She's had a hard time the last few days."

Pausing in his movements, Hak turned back toward the startled heir of the wind tribe. Staring down at the boy, almost a man, with narrowed eyes, Hak smirked at Tae-Woo's expression. He stood, frozen under Hak's gaze, eyes wide and sweat forming at his hairline.

"If there is anyone that I cannot hurt, it is her." Hak turned on his heel and continued walking.

Slowly Tae-Woo sank to his knees, legs feeling like noodles after being the subject of that being's glare. Staring after Hak's departing back, he let out a sigh, realizing that he had been holding his breath up till then.

"You mean… she's the princess?" He muttered, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. Climbing to his feet on shaky legs, Tae-Woo hurried after the pair.

By the time Hak arrived at the room, thankful that at least Han-Dae was perceptive enough to chose this room, Han-Dae had already laid out the futon and had left. Hak strode into the room, and laid Yona on the futon with a sigh. Pressing a hand to her forehead, he shook his head. There was no way for him to tell if she had a fever like this.

Removing his hand, Hak leaned back on his heels. Her face was flushed, though a deeper pink than it was while she was searching for the hair pin in the forest. He knew that her feet were injured from being forced to walk with no shoes for two days. Rather, he hoped this was just from fatigue and stress, not from an infection.

It took several minutes for Tae-Woo to catch up with them. Hak flicked his gaze to the boy as he hesitated at the entrance of the room. The boy swallowed, physically gathering up his courage before stepping into the room.

"Han-Dae told me that he's going to bring a healer…" Tae-Woo said as he sat on the other side of the princess. He looked down at her, though Hak was sure that it was to avoid looking up at him.

"Is she… is she really the prin-…"

"Yes."

"Oh." Tae-Woo muttered to himself. This was supposed to be a secret then. What had happened? Hak had been… drafted by the king as her bodyguard. So what were they doing here?

"Tae-Woo…"

Hak's voice startled the boy out of his thoughts. Slowly Tae-Woo looked up at Hak.

"I need to speak with Mundok. Will you tell him to meet me in my old rooms soon?"

"Yes… yes, of course, lord Hak." Tae-Woo gave a quick nod and stood, leaving the room.

Hak sat in silence, but for the labored breathing of the unconscious princess. He watched her, wondering if he would have to do something about this illness personally. As the princess she should be stronger than that… but Emperor Il hadn't raised his daughter properly. Yona was naïve and weak. A pampered girl locked in the pristine prison that her father made of the castle for her. Even if he had made her this way, Emperor Il had been worried about his daughter... that was why he was willing to assign one such as Hak as her bodyguard.

The sound of the door opening drew Hak's attention. Han-Dae and the healer he had brought entered the room, and Hak stood to greet them.

"Thank you, Han-Dae." Hak turned to the middle aged woman who must have been an herbalist from the scent of spices drifting off of her. "And thank you, Miss. Please take care of her." Giving a quick bow, Hak stepped past them and out of the room. Yona would be fine, even if she wasn't Hak could deal with her later. The scent of death hadn't been on her, and Hak had some things he needed to discuss with Mundok.


	3. I Don't Want to be Alone

When Hak finally stepped into the rooms that he hadn't resided in for several long years Mundok was already there. Seated at a low table on the floor, a teapot and a cup steaming full before him. The scent of mint was sweet in the air, and Hak took a moment to breath it in.

Opening his eyes, Hak stepped forward and sat on the floor across from the general of the wind tribe. Immediately the graying warrior poured another cup of mint tea and held it out for Hak.

Mundok waited until Hak had sipped at the warm tea and placed the cup down before speaking. "We haven't heard anything from the sky tribe in a few days, but the passing merchants have been astir with rumors of something that has happened at the castle. Guards tearing through homes in and close to the capital, searching for something, and paying particular attention to young women."

The two men stared at each other, one gaze searching for any sign of emotion and the other sharp if a bit apathetic. Maintaining eye contact, Hak reached down and lifted the cup of tea to his lips.

Setting the cup back down with a soft clack, he lowered his gaze to contemplate the surface of the softly green colored liquid.

Eyes downcast and voice soft, Hak finally answered Mundok's unspoken question. "She's not faring well, Mundok. A lifeless doll, that I'm cruelly dragging around by the hair. In mourning she possesses not a single will to live. It would go against my instincts to force her along were it not for the blood bond." Nothing more needed to be said for the old general to understand. The need to be cryptic was a common occupational hazard as general. This was the news he'd been both expecting and dreading, Hak could see it in the lines of his weathered face.

A long sigh escaped the old man, and Hak watched with a sharp gaze as he spoke. "That is to be expected, Hak. Have patience. She cannot heal if you continuously reopen the wound. Do your best to understand that."

Silence was Mundok's only response. Hak's eyes stayed on Mundok as the man drank the rest of his tea all at once. What must have been an unpleasant experience for it was still hot. Steam rose from Hak's cup as he raised it to his lips, the faint taste of mint cool on his tongue.

"We cannot stay here long; Soo-won's men will be searching here first once they realize that we have fled the confines of Kuuto. Which they must have already. I would have liked to have only been here for a few days, though we cannot not leave now until her fever breaks…"

"Stay as long as you need, even if they show up armed at the gate. The wind tribe will support her… and you." Mundok's wide grin was eager to fight.

A small chuckle escaped his lips as Hak rose to his feet. "No, Mundok, it mustn't come to that. We will leave as soon as we are able." Turning, he walked toward the door. "Know that, with this, you are free from our contract, Son Mundok." Hak said as he closed the door behind him.

Within three days Yona's fever had dropped, within three days the water supply to Fuuga had been cut off.

Tae-woo had come to Yona's room just moments ago and informed him that the river had been dammed up and that traders hadn't arrived for their monthly delivery. Though they had spoken by the door and in hushed tones, Yona had still sat up. Hak's eyes flick to her as he gestures for Tae-woo to continue his report.

"We have plenty of water stored, thanks to the old man's paranoia, so we'll be fine for a few weeks. However, Tae-yeon's medicine will not last another two days."

"Thank you, Tea-woo." Hak says, before turning and addressing the princess. "What are you doing?"

Yona was throwing the clothes given to her by some of the women into her bag, haphazardly folded. Already her newly borrowed shoes were on her feet.

Turning toward them, her face still a little flushed from her illness, she asked. "Aren't we leaving?" There was a confused lilt to her voice, and Hak had to fight back a grin.

Slowly Hak shook his head. "No, you head Tae-woo. There's enough water to last a few weeks." Truly he had planned to go off and fight whatever warriors that Soo-won had told to be here. Lead them away at the very least. There was no need to tell Yona that, better to see what she would think of for herself.

"We can't do that!" Yona's outrage was surprising. The fever had done her mental state wonders, it appeared.

"And just why can't we?" Hak asked, stepping over to Yona, leaving Tae-woo at the door. The wind tribe warrior looked between the two of them, face contorted into concern. Likely for the princess.

"They'll suffer if we stay… we can't do that. And what of Tae-yeon? He'll die if we stay any longer! I can't… I can't let that happen to anyone else." There was a determination in her eyes that Hak hadn't seen before, not even before her father had been murdered. This must be the healing that Mundok spoke of, though he was certain that the girl would still shatter if he whispered the wrong thing in her ear, if he so much as touched her.

She looked so small as she said that, hands clenched at her sides shaking. Her skin was still pale for her illness, and her cheek flushed. The shadows under her eyes had yet to fade. Quivering, she stood, looking ready to fall at any moment. Yet her eyes met his unwavering.

A small smirk twisted his lips as Hak wondered just how much further he could push her. "Only one of us needs to go. I'll say that I killed you, and you can stay here and disappear from the sky tribe's gaze."

Violet eyes widened in shock, before shadowing in anguish. "No! No…" Faster than he thought possible in her current state she had crossed the short distant between them and grabbed the front of his shirt, burying her face in the fabric. "I can't loose you too… only you are left. You can't die!" She sobbed lightly, and Hak realized that tears were dampening the front of his shirt.

Softly, Yona mumbled something into his chest. It took Hak a moment to realize she was repeating the same thing over and over as she cried.

"I don't want to be alone."


End file.
